Hearing Wedding Bells
Exploring the relationships of engaged students at Miami
Megan Miske
At Miami University, a term exists to describe current or former students who are married to each other. The university's website says that "when two hearts beat as one and both attended Miami, it's a Miami Merger."
For most students, marriage isn't something on their minds when navigating college. While many of them wait until after graduation to consider joining the 13% of university alumni who are married, some students choose to get engaged or married while still in school.
Madison Wells, a junior vocal performance major, and Joseph Supino, a junior psychology major, got engaged in December 2021. The couple already has plans to move to Germany for Wells' career after their post-graduation wedding in 2023.
Wells and Supino met during their first year of college while living in Collins Hall. They would greet each other when they passed by in the halls before formally meeting in a dining hall.
"I was definitely pursuing you," Wells told Supino. "I asked my friends to make me get your name and Snapchat the next time we saw you."
The next time they saw each other, Supino beat her to the punch and asked for her number. Three days later, on Sept. 16, 2019, they began dating.
This relationship felt very different to Wells because Supino asked her out, which showed how interested he was in her. After seven months together, the COVID-19 pandemic hit and Miami's campus shut down. Wells had to go back to her hometown of Bettendorf, Iowa, and Supino returned to Columbus, Ohio.
The couple wasnt sure when they would see eachother next but when they finally reunited, Supino decided it was time to pop the question.
"I got her a vinyl for Christmas," Supino said. "It was a nice moment because I put it on and we just started dancing to it until I proposed."
When it came to the engagement, Wells said she knew that it was coming, and she knew Supino had the ring. Supino talked to Wells' family about the proposal, but he already knew that they would support it because of his close bond with them.
"No one was against it or questioning whether it was a good idea," Supino said. Wells' sister even had his phone number saved as "Hermano," which is the Spanish word for brother.
So far, Wells and Supino haven't had any problems talking about their engagement among their classmates and peers. People are often curious about how it happened and ask to see the ring with excitement.
While they have felt support from those around them, they understand that they may have to eventually fight off stereotypes surrounding engagement at a young age.
"I feel like a big stereotype for people being engaged young is that they don't actually know what they are getting themselves into and that they won't last all that long together," Supino said. "But I definitely feel that's a huge misconception, and it's not really based on much."
Allison Handorf, a junior social work student, and Jake Bemis, a senior political science student, also had to go long-distance during the pandemic, but they met before college.
Handorf and Bemis began dating in 2017 when they were both in high school. They got engaged on a trip to New Orleans, Louisiana, in January 2021 after four years of dating.
Handorf's family wasn't surprised when Bemis told them about his plan to propose. To make sure the proposal was still unexpected, they told her not to get her hopes up when she discussed getting engaged.
Unlike Wells, Handorf didn't know about the proposal. While she gave Bemis hints and the two went ring shopping together, she still felt surprised when he popped the question.
Bemis proposed to Handorf on their second day in New Orleans at a historical landmark known as Jackson Square. After going to an old chapel, Bemis popped the question while they were posing for a picture together.
Unlike other couples, the pandemic brought the pair together. Before Handorf went to Miami, she attended a different school and dated Bemis while doing long distance. Because they both got sent home from their schools, the couple was able to go on walks and see each other.
After transferring to Miami, Handorf and Bemis moved in together and even adopted a black lab named Milo.
"It has been nice having that dynamic change because it is helping us figure out how to work out our schedules and having time together," Handorf said.
Planning the wedding has been hard for Handorf, but she said that the wedding vendors have been kind to her and Bemis and respectful of their decision. However, others have not treated them with the same kindness.
"Every now and then I'll run into a group of people that will laugh or not understand, and I feel judged," Handorf said.
This engagement is especially meaningful to the pair because of Bemis' plan to go into the military after graduating from Miami this spring. The couple plans to get married this June.
It is not uncommon for people in the military to become engaged at a young age. According to the Department of Defense Demographics Report, "almost 43% of active duty members are 25 years or younger…over half (56.1%) on active duty are married."
First-year zoology major Kaylee Wiesner met Jake Kennedy almost a year ago when they started talking through Snapchat. Kennedy is also in the military. The pair plans on getting legally married soon but won't have a wedding for two years.
During winter break, the couple became engaged when they went ice skating in downtown Cincinnati. Kennedy pretended to fall, and when Wiesner went to help him up, he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him.
"I never understood why military relationships evolved so quickly until the day Jake left for training," Wiesner said. "Being put in that situation truly changes you and makes you realize a lot of things about the person you love."
Kennedy left for basic training in August 2021, so the couple plans on getting double proxy married. Double proxy marriages happen when two people sign a marriage license in front of an officiant, but they aren't in the same room. They will have the second ceremony in front of their families and loved ones.
All three couples have found themselves becoming the blueprint for many of their friends that are navigating relationships. However, Handorf and Bemis sometimes find this difficult because they are both each other’s first relationship which gives them nothing else to compare it to.
Communication is the one thing they have all agreed is essential.
"The three C's: comfort, consent and communication," Supino said. "We express how we feel and we listen."
While engagement may not be the right option for most students during their time at Miami, some still choose it because they feel confident in their relationship.
“Trust your gut,” Wiesner said. "The person you don't always think that you would go for could end up being the love of your life."
