Unseen

Ever since I was a little girl, I have had this unshakeable feeling that I am invisible under my gender.

In the sixth grade, I had a teacher who blatantly prefered male students. Despite making an active attempt to participate in her class, she never called on me, except when I was the only one with my hand up.

In high school, I felt constantly trampled by the boys in my classes. They were bold, brash, and would frequently shout out the answers. 

 A group of male students in one of my classes always joked around and caused a fuss in the back of the classroom. They would harass other students, say ridiculous things in loud and absurd accents, then cackle like it was the funniest joke they had ever heard. 

These boys were consistently rude to their female teachers and peers, yet no matter what action (if any) was taken, their behavior never changed.

As a result, I was shy in class. I did not want to raise my hand and risk getting an answer wrong for fear of being mocked by the boys in the back of the room. While in class, I would be so focused on whatever nonsense sound would be coming from the back that I would occasionally lose track of the lecture. 

Through the years, I have felt ignored in the classroom, and other women in all levels of academia are being silenced by the gender norms of our culture. 

***

A 2020 study entitled “Who Speaks and Who Listens” was conducted to look at the disposition of men and women in a college classroom. 

In their study, Jennifer Jiwon Lee, a current doctoral student in sociology at Indiana University Bloomington , and Janice McCabe, an associate professor of sociology at Dartmouth, noticed differences in the tone of students of different genders. Men are consistently bolder, while women are “hesitant and apologetic.”

Lee and McCabe also argued that female students frequently find themselves in a conundrum. They are expected to contribute meaningfully to class discussions, but they are overpowered by their concern of being “stigmatized for transgressions of gendered expectations, such as engaging in firm and assertive language.”

Dr. Kimberly Hamlin, a professor at Miami specializing in history, gender and sexuality, noted that this phenomenon has roots in the socialization of children. 

“The way girls and boys are socialized in K-12, to achieve, to be rule followers, to behave or to misbehave has a big part of it,” Hamlin said.

Lee and McCabe found a similar pattern among college students, describing the tendency of men to break the rules, specifically speaking out of turn. In the study, it was discovered that male students speak without raising their hand and interrupt others more often than their female counterparts. 

“...men’s assertive, high-status behaviors and women’s deferential, lower status behaviors in classrooms lead to contrasting performance expectations, which further reinforce existing gender status and limit women’s opportunities to contribute to classroom conversations,”  Lee and McCabe said. 

***

Megan McNamara, a junior interior design major, recalled an experience in high school that placed her womanhood in direct conflict with her ability to succeed as a student.

One day, McNamara was told by teachers that boys and girls would be given (separate) presentations. While the boys watched a 15-minute video and were then dismissed to play basketball, the female students were shown a film about the “evil” behaviors of women, such as gossiping and bringing other girls down. 

When some students confronted their teachers about the sexism embedded in the film, McNamara said they were silenced.

“Some of us spoke up and asked why only the girls were watching this, but they shut us up and told us all of these girl stereotypes about how we bad-mouth people and care too much about how we look and act,” McNamara said. 

For junior psychology and art therapy double major Jackie Michaud, attending an all-girls high school, and then coming to Miami, highlights exact findings from Lee and McCabe’s study. 

“The boys speak up more in class [at Miami], with a confidence that seems, to me, to take away from the confidence of those around them,” Michaud said. “I notice that I speak less in class...than I did in high school.” 

When speaking in her classes at Miami, Michaud said her gender has become a much more active part of her classroom experience.

 “Suddenly, when surrounded by men in college, answering a question almost feels like a performance,” Michaud said. “Not only am I answering a question, I am a woman answering a question.”

McNamara has found the same feeling of looming doubt in the classroom, specifically coming from male peers. 

“Being an interior design major who is a girl is hard sometimes in group projects with male architecture majors,” McNamara said. “They assume I know nothing and treat me like I’m an idiot.”

***

In my college experience, I have discovered these gendered instances occurring almost on a daily basis. 

I have had several instances in my classes where I was in a group discussion and made a point that was brushed off, only to be praised when repeated by a male classmate. 

I noticed a distinct patriarchal aura in the singular physics class I took, specifically when my male teaching assistant hovered over my shoulder while I worked on problems, and male students approached me to ask if I needed any help understanding a concept. 

I felt crippled by the masculine presence looming over me.

Instead of just allowing me to become educated, it was like the system was simultaneously drowning me while, in some way, still attempting to resuscitate me.

Now, the question becomes: how am I, as a college-educated woman, supposed to overcome this?

That answer might not come anytime soon. Major changes need to happen not only within the classroom setting, but also outside of it. And all parties need to be involved, from administration to teachers to parents to male students. 

Until then, we don’t have to accept the inequality, only let others know it exists so it does not last forever.