The Question of Commitment

Navigating relationships as a senior

Soft music plays as Kate Reidy and Griffin Lester move throughout the kitchen, making their stir-fry dinner. Lester preps all of the vegetables while Reidy stands nearby, talking about her day. 


Once everything is cut up and ready, she begins to cook the vegetables and make a sauce for the dinner. When everything is almost ready, Lester grabs bowls and utensils and sets the table. 


A senior undergraduate student has plenty to worry about – finding a job after college, staying on top of their school work, capstone courses and deciding what direction they want their future to take. On top of all that, they have to juggle friendships and relationships, while understanding their time left at Miami is limited.  


This pressure is especially taxing for students who are in relationships. Not only do they have to decide what they want their future to look like, they have to factor another person into that decision. 


Seniors Reidy, an urban and regional planning major, and Lester, an information systems and analytics major, have been dating since the spring of their freshman year. In the two and a half years they’ve been together, they’ve been able to see each other progress through college. 


“It's definitely been cool to watch both of us grow into the more adult versions of ourselves,” Reidy said. 


In addition, they have been able to help each other grow both within their relationships and as individuals. Reidy has found this has helped her grow more confident, especially in her communication skills. 


“We're always open and there for each other,” Reidy said. “It's been much easier to be honest and communicate and that's made everything much better in all aspects of life, because I'm better with everyone about that now.”


Reidy and Lester have been living together with their two other roommates since their junior year of college. Sharing a space as a couple means they are able to spend time together and continue building their relationship. Even when they are both busy, they can do work in a shared space or unwind after a long day together. 


The little things, like making dinner or sharing a study room to do homework, are important in their relationship. 


Many couples decide not to live together in college because they want to experience living with their friends or are worried about the possibility of breaking up. That was not a concern, Lester said, because they knew they could still take things slow in their relationship until they had to move in. 


“It was an easy decision,” Lester said. “It worked out, you know, I've had some of the best years of my life these past couple years living with my friends and with Kate.”


By understanding their compatibility in college, their decision to want to continue living together after graduation has been shaped. 


And Reidy believes their living style is completely compatible. She feels that as long as they are able to continue openly communicating with one another, they will be able to live together with no problems in the future. 


But living together post-graduation isn’t an option for all senior couples. For some, long distance is a reality they have to face. 


Caroline Buchheit, a senior kinesiology major, has also been dating her boyfriend for over two years. Although Buchheit wasn’t looking for anything serious when they were introduced by a mutual friend here at Miami their freshman year, she quickly found herself changing her mind. 


“I spent a lot of my freshman year being [introspective] a little bit and figuring all of that out,” Buchheit said. “We started dating immediately, head over heels madly in love. It was like a movie.”


As time has passed, Buchheit has also found she has been able to grow in her relationship with her boyfriend.  They have been able to watch each other grow as individuals, which has helped strengthen their connection. 


The couple understands what they face when looking at life after graduation. Buchheit has to continue her education at physical therapy school, and her boyfriend has to find a job, meaning they may end up in different places. 


It’s important to Buchheit that they are intentional about their future, especially as they each decide on what city they want to live in post-grad. 


Since the couple typically spends summer break apart from one another, they know that long distance is something they will be able to do. 


“We are just in our early twenties, you know, we have so much life to live and so much to figure out,” Buchheit said. “We are not in a rush to make sure that we're in the same place and [we know] that we do long distance very well.”  


And it’s especially important for them to take advantage of their time together now. For Buchheit, quality time is the best way for the couple to be able to do that. Even on busy days, they take walks at night to catch up and spend time with one another. 


But, dating during senior year isn't practical for everyone. Some students think it’s pointless to spend time falling in love when they know they’re leaving in such a short amount of time.


Sophie Hess, a political science and Spanish double major, has secured a job in Washington, D.C. after graduation. She knows she’ll be living there for at least five years, if not longer. 


“It would be really challenging to start something with someone and develop a relationship… just to leave,” Hess said. “[You] either have to do long distance, or you'd have to break up or maybe they'd go in the same place as you, but you really never know.”


With such a short amount of time left in Oxford, Hess has found it more important to focus on school and her friends, rather than developing new romantic relationships.  


“To start [dating] your senior year, especially knowing you only have a limited amount of time left, it would be really hard to try to get to know someone in that amount of time,” Hess said. 


And yet, for some seniors, dating during this time of their lives just seems to make sense.


As Reidy serves the stir-fry, she sits down across from Lester, and together they begin their meal. Even though they make dinner together almost every night, it’s clear that it hasn’t lost any meaning to either of them. 


The two talk casually and begin working on homework side by side, happy enough to just be in the same room as one another. 



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