Closing the curtain

Erin McGovern

Sitting in the auditorium of my former high school, I watched as the curtain opened, revealing a cast of characters – some faces familiar, others I had never seen before.

It seemed like only yesterday I was on the other side, butterflies in my stomach as we prepared to present the show we had spent months working on to an audience for the first time. I had never felt anything else like it.

As nerve-wracking and exciting as the process could be, none of it compared to the moment that curtain closes for the first time on opening night and we come out as a cast to take our bows. The uproarious applause and sound of people standing up out of their seats to applaud the cast and crew was nothing short of magical.

For the longest time, this was my life. It felt like it would never end.

Until it did.

I remember my senior bow vividly. Lining up alongside my fellow seniors, roses clenched between our teeth. I had dreamt of this moment since my first show with the drama club in 8th grade, and it had finally become a reality.

And then it was over.

I was fortunate enough to go back this fall and see my high school’s musical, “The Addams Family,” over Thanksgiving break. Being in the audience was a drastic change from what I was used to, but I loved seeing the people I cared about take the stage.

I ended up seeing the show three times.

The final performance was the closing show, which meant senior bows. It happens at the end of every production – all seniors do it. I did it.

But for some reason, it felt different this time. Watching from the audience was a new feeling, but that wasn’t the worst part. I felt an emptiness inside of me from not being up there as tears began to form in my eyes.

It took me back to the moment I was up on that stage for my final bow. It hadn't felt like the end. Deep down, I knew that it was, but it hadn’t felt real.

Only after being away from it and returning in that different, unfamiliar capacity did it hit me: that chapter of my life is over.

It was time to move on. It wasn’t easy, but I found I got the same storytelling thrill through another outlet – writing.

Theater has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I’ve been putting on living room concerts and puppet shows since I learned how to talk, but of course, all good things must come to an end.

It was finally time to close my curtain.

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